MONKISM'S

"Naturally I did not agree with the decision. Clinton (Hurst) had merely run into me and we had collided. Physically I am king-kong to his build, so he came off second-best. I turned away and I heard somebody shout out something about my foot tripping him up, so I turned around and pointed to my knee and said if that's my ffin foot then I am a Dutchman. However it was the ref who had said it and he called me over and told me to shut up! I thought it was somebody in the crowd trying to be smart, so I later apologised to the ref but not for protesting." - What I think my learned friend for the defence was attempting to say but in not so few words was he did not foul Clinton Hurst! - after the reserves lost to Special Brew FC on Sunday February 7th 1995.

"As John Lennon may have said, Misfit's got by tonight with a little help from their friend" - a thinly veiled reference to the ref on 14th May 1995 following a controversial 5-2 defeat to Misfits, which saw the BGFC B-Team concede a dodgy penalty, surrender a two-goal lead and see the game interupted for a couple of minutes after a missle was thrown onto the pitch. The Hood Park Leisure Centre Management team would later accuse Mr Monk of "sour grapes".

"He has asked me two or three times, but the answer is no. He left this club in January 1994 and as far as I am concerned, that is it" - Weds June 7th 1995 - Monk reacts angrily to stories that striker Craig Pitchers was in line for a shock return to the BGFC, however somewhat surprisingly he refused to comment on the nights' big story which was the dropping of Steg Homer following a row before kick-off.

"It is good of Hood Park to accomodate us in this way. I am sure in the past this would not have been possible. If we had experienced difficulties, then I could have rightfully objected to (Steg) Homer's transfer as he signed our form before he signed Wainwright's. I could have easily prevented him from playing for them if things had become stubborn, I thank Hood Park for their help and hope this will be the end of the matter" - August 1995 in response to the Bowling Green "signing-gate" crisis when four members of the BGFC team did a U-turn and joined other teams, having pledged to play for the BGFC. Just as well he had not studied contract law back then, but a rare, grudging expression of gratitude from the man who seemed to be moaning on a weekly basis about the powers-that-be at Hood Park Leisure Centre!

"We all know that Page, Waldrum, Salisbury, Hardington and Gardner are a far better side than my motley crew who sneaked the Division Two title two years ago!" 0- In his NMTBG column "Bigmouth Strikes Back!" Monk praises the BGFC Senior side of 1995 who finished second in Division Two, but clearly felt they were a superior team to his own Division Two title winners two years earlier!

"Accordimg to some, most of it coming from the direction of Willesley and Moira, yours truly is the perennial villian. I don't know why they don't go the whole hog and blame me for the Tory leadership crisis, Bosnia and Northern Ireland. If I haven't achieved anything else this season, one claim I can have is my stance against the obstreperous members of my side, who have since thankfully either retired, gone to pastures new or returned to Rovers. Simply I will not tolerate bad manners, churlish tantrums and filthy language from ignorant, obstinate yobs. If I seem a little evangelical towards the consecreation and application of this club then it is because I demand high-standards. If anything we have lacked standards off the park which has shown on it". - August 1995, Monk reopens the Steg Homer row and basically seems to be saying thank-god 1994/95 is all over!